As of late, I have been single for 3 months. No more abusive asshole "husband".
However, I am currently without a home, without a car, and I have a very shitty job. Yay me! At least I have a job though. I am proud of the fact I've had this job for so long, it may be fast food, but, I like the people I work with, they aren't totally closed minded. I like the fact that I get to joke with them about how I actually am. I get to be myself for the most part. I do deal with allot of jerks through out the day, but I have customers who are good people, they care about what I do with my life. It's freeing, and refreshing.
But to put things on track, I live with a friend until August of this year (2013). My ex was cheating on me for 6 months and had a separate life with a girl that had given us problems through out or relationshit. It's not my problem that he likes a heroin addict more than me. I never did him wrong.
I have allot going on, sorry my mind isn't too focused on what I'm typing. I have to have a place to live, a car and a better paying job by August. How do you achieve that? Well, I'll tell you how. You work yourself till you think you're going to die from exhaustion, but you keep working. You wake up in the morning at 6 or 7 AM and put your work uniform on, put your game face on, brush the frizzies out of your hair, put on a pretty smile, and laugh at yourself in the mirror. You brush your teeth, run to the car, get to work, laugh at all of the lame pick up lines and jokes you hear. You finish your job, You come home, get on your laptop, search for schools or jobs that will help you excel and you apply the fuck out of yourself until you don't think you can do anymore. You take a breather, listen to some music, take your pills for weight loss even though you're not overweight, or fat. You eat some food, then go back to your computer and continue doing what you were doing, then you figure out what days you have free and you fill up those empty or not so busy days up with a bunch of hobbies that you've never really done before. You hang out with people you never thought you would hang out with. You become more outgoing, you make more friends, you fill your life with your friends.
This continues until things start working. You can't be negative anymore, you have your breakdowns because of your history with self harm, but you ignore it. You keep working to lose that extra weight you don't have, you keep working to make that extra cash you need, you keep working to achieve better things and know better people...You keep working on achieving better...You keep trying even when you want to give up. You keep trying even if you're broken, worn out, used. "You can do this" is your new motto...
This is my life. I haven't achieved jack shit yet, but I know I will. I have to.
