Lately, for no apparent reason anime has been on my mind quite often. I guess for me it's a sort of an escape in a way. In anime there's girls with pink hair and cutesy dresses, or boob-tacular women with the self esteem of a Drill Sergeant and Jet Li combined, the bitchy pretty girl that everyone likes but is slightly afraid of, and there is always, always always, gothy girls who are adorable, talented but are so quiet their own amazing-ness is kept to themselves. There's men who are the nose bleeding perverts, the gay adorables, the quiet bad ass, and the overly self confident dork who wont allow himself to be put down. Not to mention the goals and missions of all of the characters are always fascinating and filled with this realistic feel as they go through their lives or travel to other places.
Anime really is the best way to get away for me. It feels as though when the characters are judged by one another it's only the bitchy pretty girl that ever says anything about looks, and there's never allot of those girls, well...in the series that I have watched anyways. Most of the judging is based on how the characters act 99% of the time. Which to me seems more sensible than harrassing someone because they put on a bow tie that you didn't agree with.Which I guess is why It's one of the best escapes I can find throughout my entire day. It takes the trouble away from all of the harrassing at the university, and it takes my mind off of...well, myself.
Lately I have been monitoring my food portions and increasing the liquids in my diet. This is what I've been trying not to think about. I know I shouldn't think this way but when the stress rises, it's true, I feel this is the only way to put a little bit of control on my life. Other than cleaning my own home, and walking the dog on a set schedule. I am far from anorexic if that's what your question is. I am a 5'7" 125 lbs maybe more at this rate young weirdo. However, even if there's some doctor going "Hubbubub, What's that? Signs of anorexia? Bah! She needs counceling, therapy, treatment and medication! Immediately!" I don't really care. I'd rather be anorexic and a stick figured goth (who in my own opinion is rather sexy) than this thunderthigh, muffin topped weirdo who is losing her gothy clothes for no apparent reason.
I've made efforts in school again though, I've determined that I do have to pass my algebra and at the least attempt my other classes. I'm concerned though about how I will continue paying the bills because if I continue failing my loans and grants will possibly be lowered or taken away all together. I know the subjects somewhat and I know I can pass if I try. I just can't continue to let the jerks who wonder the halls and decide it's funny to trip and harrass me during class win. It's unfair to my future self, and it's unfair to the current me. However, through out all of my efforts in algebra specifically my grade hasn't risen. Which is quite odd considering my homework is online and I'm automatically aware if I've completed the equation accurately or not, and I'm able to see my own grades. I was wondering if the teacher was grading wrong or if she missed something, but I've came to the conclusion she's just another bitch hiding behind a smile and desk when I got my last report card saying my grade lowered by yet another 10%.
In the mean time though, I've managed to adopt a puppy who loves to harrass my cat and run around the house and pee everywhere because he tends to be overly happy. Loki is his name, he's a border collie, and he's the greatest and sweetest addition to my edgar allen poe styled apartment that I have ever had. Although him and Baby (my cat) play fight constantly and it's to the point I can't tell if the cat or dog is growling and barking, they love each other. They both love to take baths together like two small children at a slumber party, and they both follow me everywhere, even if I simply have to go to the restroom. I have to admit, it's definitely awkward seeing four eyes staring at you the whole time you try to pee, but if you put them both in the tub and close the shower curtain it makes going a little bit easier. Although Lokis potty training hasn't been going smoothly because of his anxious peeing and his sleep peeing, he has been catching on enough to take care of the really dirty stuff outside, and he's even learned how to sit, stay, and roll over within the week that I've had him. However, I just can't wait till the smell of urine is out of my house and it goes back to smelling like pretty berries, and furniture polish.
My life has been a mess lately, I'm trying desperately to get it organized again, and I hope just like anyone else that I get to make it somewhere some day. Thank you for reading this ridiculous post, and thank you for the time you think you've wasted. I hope someone out there can relate...even if it's only a tiny bit. It's nice to feel like there's someone to relate to.
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